Beyonce - Put a ring on it
Dave has an extensive look at Beyonce's recent hit which to all intents and purposes I thought was called Single Ladies. You learn something every yada yada...
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies, now put your hands up
Beyonce, in a typically divaish way appeals to all the single ladies of the audience to join her in mass celebration of singleness. "Ah she's just like one of us" I'm sure some less well informed girls may think. "She's just another single lady who's unlucky in love, and I bet we could go out for cocktails and be best mates and talk about how shit men are."
Let me just tell you loud and clearly Beyonce is NOT one of you, and would never indulge in your company for a nanosecond. For one thing Beyonce is far from single, as she is married to Jay-Z who I can imagine takes a dim-view upon any men trying to change that fact. Secondly and more obviously Beyonce is a multimillionaire Rn'B Diva, therefore the plight of single women, is of little concern if any to her as she's more interested in bullshitting her way to the top of the charts. If you were to go out for cocktails with her you would spend an evening listening to her talking about how great she is, how she pretends to care about something ethical or humanitarian and then how much money she has. Then again this may be enough for some people that some pop-star in her ivory tower would lower herself to spend time thinking about single women in the first place, in which case we are very sad as a society.
Up in the club (club)
We just broke up (Up)
I'm doing my own lil' thing
Oh boo hoo, Beyonce's in a club and she's broken up. Luckily, as she's a world famous and rich star she can afford to do her lil' thing. It's unspecified what the 'lil' thing' is but I'm assuming it's a dance that she's made up. I'm sure its empowering to women to claim that "I've been dumped but I don't care as I've got my dance" etc. Sadly this won't work for most people, as they will probably end up just looking stupid and being shunned by people. Let's be honest the only people who can pull off edgy new dances (fashions, hairstyles etc) are a-class celeb trendsetters, as it is beyond their mental capacity to care about whether they look stupid or not. That part of their brain died long long ago.
You decided to dip (dip)
Now you wanna trip (trip)
Cause another brother noticed me
Ah now Beyonce's trying to reach her audience on their level, by speaking in the language of the street. This is not only patronizing, but it undermines the whole edgy gritty feel. Beyonce does not know hardship! She was born in a nice surburb of Houston Texas and wanted for nothing. After all, she basically decided she wanted to be in a girl band and lo and behold daddy did it for her. Now she's completely prostituting a popularized sound, to try and cash in on the hype. What a busta'!
All of this entirely pithy attempt to sound cool has done, is to make her sound like a retard. Unfortunately I can't speak street so it's hard to say if what she's just said actually has any meaning full stop, although I can hazard a guess she's talking about dipping (which I think means dancing) and tripping (which I believe means spazzing out). Although I'm perfectly happy to take it at face value, that she is just an incoherent moron.
I'm up on him (him)
He up on me (me)
Don't pay him any attention
Is Beyonce trying to have sex in a club. Now I know she's famous, but even celebrities don't get those kind of concessions from bouncers. Another thing, seems to be that she doesn't care for this attention from the man who is "up on her". So what is she saying: "Ok he's having sex with me, I'll just ignore him and he'll go away," and that is not just rape, but it's also quite naïve.
'Cause I've cried my tears (tears)
For three good years (years)
You can't be mad at me
Ah Beyonce is crying, crying tears made of pure diamonds, as I'm sure she's had her tear ducts have been genetically modified to produce hardened carbon mineral deposits, which also look nice. She also talks about crying non-stop for three years, in which case she probably has quite sore eyes. However, she's using this to excuse herself from something.
I'm guessing from the tone of the song so far it's probably from some kind of love indiscretion, like adultery. In which case just because she's been crying non-stop (which must be down to some kind of medical disorder, possibly from making her eyes shed hard rocks, rather than emotional distress). Imagine if I said to a girl, after cheating on her, "I've been crying for 2 weeks non-stop since the affair, so therefore you can't be angry." I would be embarrassed for the both of us if she overlooked that!
Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Now Mrs Z is now advocating marriage, which I'm all for, but I don't like the sentiment behind it. It's interesting how she taunts her ex with a giant "I told you so" kind of vibe, about how he should have proposed if he wanted to keep her. Isn't it amazing how a little band of gold with diamond can save a relationship, but Beyonce thinks this is a necessity in her life. I can only deduce that the man has had a lucky escape from this bling obsessed bint, as he may have a chance to meet someone who cares more for human emotions rather than a little piece of metal.
I got gloss on my lips (lips)
A man on my hips (hips)
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
God good, here's a first. Beyonce is using product placement for her own brand in a song! For those of you who didn't know (and I must admit before writing this I didn't either, but hey I learn a lot of things from this) House of Deron is a clothing company owned by Beyonce, where you can find clothes pretty much like any other in any fashion outlet. Except it probably has Beyonce's big smirking face plastered all over it or some bullshit slogan like "LoveB" or something picture of something putrefying like a pair of used knickers etc. then again my fashion rants are best saved for another story.
Still it's a sad incitement of society that there are celebrities endorsing their own brands in their own songs. It could at least be a good song, I mean is this a sign of modern femininity as this song is touted to be a new anthem of female empowerment (in the same vein as "I will survive" apparently). What a shame it's just the same sort of materialistic shopping mentality that we've come to expect in our times from some women.
Actin' up (up)
Drinkin' my cup (cup)
I can care less what you think
Meanwhile, Beyonce has gone home to have a nice quiet cup of tea. Yes it would seem even celebrities are down with the tea, and I can only applaud this. I too enjoy a nice cup of tea, after a hectic day after all. Thankfully she isn't try to plug her own tea supplier this time, so some travesties are left untouched for today.
I need no permission
Did I mention?
Don't pay him any attention
Cause you had your turn (turn)
And now you're gonna learn (learn)
What it really feels like to miss me
Well that's just cold, and a little bit vindictive. She's naturally feeling hurt at having been dumped, so instead of being the bigger person she's just going to be a complete bitch, and try and hurt him back by making him really miss her. Then I'd imagine she'll laugh in his face, and refuse any attempts for a reconciliation. I can imagine this will result in public blanking, stories to her girlfriends about how he's bad in bed and she'll buy an amazingly hot dress which will make every man in the room ejaculate on sight. Will she feel happy then? Who cares, I've given up giving a toss about this relationship ages ago. It's not like Beyonce has to really worry too much about this kind of thing anyway, she's talking out her very well shaped arse.
Don't treat me to these things of the world
I'm not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Here's a man that makes me then takes me and delivers me
To a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I'm the one you want
If you don't, you'll be alone
And like a ghost I'll be gone
Right so does Beyonce want her ex back or not? The whole song so far seems to have been an attempt to spite him and now she's trying to win him back? She really needs to just decide what the fuck she wants instead of piddling around, trying to win him back. All her talk of marriage earlier probably frightened the bastard off. If he wants to marry you he'll propose, and if not well then either move on or live in sin forever and ever. Cohabiting isn't exactly unheard of nowadays.
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