It's that time of the week again ladies and gentlemen and, well, what a week it's been. I've spent far too much time this week enjoying the vitriol of others on the internet for no apparent reason; the aforementioned (last week) Speak your Branes and reading through a number of fora, facebook groups and even youtube comments have all come under my personal scrutiny this week. I even thought of doing a compilation of things myself but thought it to be an utterly pointless task as it's done better and elsewhere. It did make me think though that people are, well, total and utter idiots at the best of times as I'm sure all of you will agree. Therefore it is no (well, a small) coincidence that this week we have four artistes who all represent the very top in their respective genres for, well, being utter mainstream bland corporate tosh.

Firstly, Dave has had a look (and also written a piece about) at the ever loved Beyonce Knowles - a firm favourite on VKTRS and for all the right (non musical) reasons - and her recent hit Put a ring on it. This piece is well worth looking at - it's a longun, thats for sure.

Ah Beyonce is crying, crying tears made of pure diamonds, as I'm sure she's had her tear ducts have been genetically modified to produce hardened carbon mineral deposits, which also look nice.

I've had a look at a couple of huge British acts with designs on global domination and if it happens for either, well, lord help us. Both represent the ultimate in Ford Focus musicality. Firstly, we've got Razorlight and that song America.

Johnny Borrell needs to smoke in order to sleep. There are a number of health and safety issues with this sentence; for a start, there was the widespread advertising campaign a few years back talking about the dangers of having a smoke before you went to sleep, going to sleep without properly putting the cigarette out and the subsequent disastrous consequences.

Secondly I've had a look at a band that already look like taking over the world for the next decade through some miraculous (probably the most out of place that word has ever been) means. It's Coldplay and, specifically, Fix You. Warning: I may go off on one...

Chris Martin is a doctor! This is an absolutely massive development, as it means that I've been calling him by the wrong title through the song. Dr. Martin (or, for the purpose of this exercise, Doc Martin) will fix the subject by, er, setting them alight.

And finally Dave has had a look at nu-metal giants Linkin Park (representin' it for the aggravated 10-17 year old kids out there) with their recent giant What I've Done.

Well Chester has reached a breakthrough in his rehabilitation, and is planning to put all this confectionary based madness behind him forever. He's trying to forgive himself, it's a long and hard road and he seems to have taken it a day at a time. However, it would seem he's still being plagued by nightmares. Nightmares involving giant packs of cadbury's buttons and sherbet fountains enticing him to steal them.

And that, ladies and sires, is that. Until next time - peace out.

Word.

Tom x