Lionel Richie - Hello [video]
Seeing as Lionel Richie = Love himself I figured I ought to do a double whammy today and look at the masterpiece that is the video for the previously analysed Hello.
00:16 It would appear as though Lionel Richie is standing on a stage in an auditorium (well where else?) with a pretty small crowd anticipating whatever treasures are about to take place.
00:25 Lionel is launching into a speech! WOW!
00:46 It would appear as though this could either be some sort of self-help group for the recently incarcerated or perhaps a rehersal for a very dramatic and, well, top class play?
00:58 Lionel Richie, ever looking the epitome of smart casual in a top-notch white blazer, snazzy jumper, a moustache that just screams MANLY and an afro that most of us can only dream of (though perhaps that do wouldn't really work particularly well on this author)
01:04 You're a regular Rick van Winkle - I may not know who he is but as names go that is brilliant, just sheer brilliance.
01:05 And the music is raised and finally after a tortuous opening (not that seeing Motivational Playwright Richie do his thang hasn't been a pleasure) Lionel begins to sing - the actress however continues to talk and I feel that this is bad manners on the part of both individuals. On Lionel for interrupting her monologue and on her for talking over Mr. Richie.
01:16 Lionel strolls across the stage to a chair and sits down in order to both sing and observe the work of his pupils at the same time. What a man, what a man - although his gaze appears to be fixated on his leading lady. I smell a sexual harassment case.
01:24 And so in a totally new twist it would appear that his leading lady is now learning how to play the flute, or perhaps has already accomplished this feat and is part of an extensive ensemble. This isn't particularly clear yet.
01:28 She's blind!!!
01:29 Sorry, I've regained my composure now. This is an unexpected plot development and takes this video to entirely new dimensions - although I feel the lyrics Lionel has chosen are rather poor here. Is it me your LOOKING for? Oh my - he is taking the proverbial Michael out of what is a very serious disorder. Poor form Lionel, poor form.
01:35 I can see it in your eyes - What? This is just getting silly and, more importantly, exploitative of this poor blind girl who clearly cannot defend herself.
01:44 Lionel walks away ruefully, looking embarrassed by his poor lexical choice.
01:45 And so our leading lady has gotten some items out of the locker she is now closing - I have to say the tasks she has performed during this video have been nothing short of exemplary. Clearly she has reacted to her disability well, although it's unclear as to whether she was born blind or whether this happened in some horrible scientific experiment.
01:56 She's in High School. Really?
01:57 Hang on if she's in High School it would appear as though Lionel has something for women far, far younger than himself. This isn't quite a Gary Glitter case, but it isn't far off.
02:12 She's making some sort of clay contraption - right now it looks more like a faraway planet (a big ball of orange) than anything coherent but we'll give her time, we'll give her time okay?
02:21 This is one hell of a high school, though perhaps now I think about it it's more of a performing arts college?
02:28 And so I've just noticed that a blazer-less Richie continues to watch her from afar with a sense of longing and perhaps regret - maybe it was his actions that lead to her being blinded? That would be a source of some severe controversy indeed.
02:37 We're now in some sort of dance class and now that we're back indoors Richie has contravened convention by putting his blazer back on! Stunning stuff really.
02:41 With the fan whirring in the background Lionel starts to walk away mumbling to himself - and suddenly Bang! And the head has turned. He faces his leading lady (who can't even see him so this is for no reason) and starts to sing in a pronounced and heartfelt way. Cracking stuff.
02:57 I won't lie to you, this is becoming more and more like the behaviour of a seasoned stalker by the second. I mean it's easy to stalk a blind person but you never actually think that anyone would ever stoop that low so as to actually go and stalk a member of the blind. Lionel Richie has not done himself many favours with this video, that's for sure.
03:03 There is another man on the scene! Lionel looks furious and envious and the singing becomes even more heartfelt and, er, frustrated.
03:12 We're back in the original theatre setting and Lionel is sat down observing his nemesis' girl who in his mind is his leading lady. He looks on mournfully.
03:35 Our leading lady is now at home in her night gear reading in the dark (well I suppose that much is obvious) via the form of Braille. That's a point actually - not to be mean but surely the blind must make some substantial electrical savings due to the lack of any real need for lighting.
03:47 Lionel is calling her on the telephone!
03:49 She picks up!
03:57 To the smooth sounds of a guitar solo Lionel starts to sing down the phone to his leading lady - we cut to her smiling as a result.
04:08 Merely seconds after starting his phone call with her Lionel decides that enough is enough and he hangs up without any prior warning.
04:20 After shots of Lionel singing and the girl all of a sudden looking very satisfied with herself and her exploits of the previous 30 seconds - even though she seemed to interact in no way whatsoever with Lionel. Anyway we now have a shot of Lionel back in the theatre twinkling the old ivories and singing his little heart out - all impressive stuff.
04:42 Lionel is interrupted by a very handsome looking man. What?
04:44 She's sculpted his face! How creepy is this?? It looks absolutely nothing like him and is an image that if I'm being honest with you is one of my favourite of all time. It appears that there is much love between them. What a song, what a video. Whirlwind stuff I'm sure you'll agree.
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