H Two O ft. Platinum - Whats it gonna be [video]
This video takes a socio-economic look at the hardships of going to real schools. Dave considers this.
00:00 - 00:10: We have a lovely little establishing shot of a school (which is in fact Dulwich College in South East London), and it looks like quite a well to do school, not your average comprehensive zoo (I went to one, I should know). I expect this is a stuffy institution where young minds are force-fed information until they explode; at least this is what I think the video wants me to think.
The name of the school is a little weird though as we are shown through an oh so clever graphic (the badge is a rip of Grange Hill's!), claiming the school is called H two O feat Platinum containing the school motto: What's it gonna be, which as far as school motto's go is a bit weak. It's almost like having a motto saying "what are you here for?" and as "What's it gonna be" is quite vague a number of students might just take that as an excuse to slack off, or say they are there to Paarty.
00:10 - 00:20: The class takes their seats and I have to question the effectiveness of this school already as most of the class seems to be in their early twenties. Am I to assume that their academic performance is so poor that they have been held back so many years to the point that they are still at school at age 24? I didn't think that was possible. One of the boys (hah!) in the class exchanges a cheeky look to a girl across the room and we can only assume there's some sexual tension here, after all this is a dance video.
00:20: Oho! There seems to be a new girl in the class, and one who can only be described as fit (keeping with the tone of the song of course). However, I don't think the way she's dressed is in keeping with the school's dress code. This seems to shock the boy and he makes a face which almost implies he's about to vomit with rage at this new upstart. He has of course kept within the school's tidy dress code, so has every reason to grimace at this clear flouting of the school's etiquette.
00:28: The events in the classroom require a bit of catharsis, from this young chap so at playtime he goes out with a couple of chums for a good old bit of break-dancing.
00:45: Hello! The teacher has entered the room for the first time. I wonder what this old chap will have to say about this new comer.
00:48: Oh no, discipline seems to be bad at this school as the teacher is pelted with paper missiles. He to his credit doesn't really lose his temper and for that I have to say bravo, for not giving the students the reaction they want. I suspect detention may be on the cards though.
00:50: More breakdancing....
00:52: The improperly dressed girl is now making eyes at the boy who was so appalled by her breaking of the dress-code, and he seems to be making eyes back. What a cad! I thought he and the other girl were an item, but that's been quickly forgotten. I suspect this happens every time a new 'fittie' joins the class.
00:55 - 01:00: The teacher is desperately teaching the young adults in his class to spell the school's name, but is met with a less than helpful attitude. That is until one of the students somehow works out how to answer the question on his calculator (what?). The student who does show a more eager attitude to school, looks like your average class nerd (bod, braniac, geek etc), with big glasses and a silly haircut.
It's a shame that this school contains such an outmoded stereotype, but then he'll be the one laughing I suspect when he actually gets round to a career whilst the others will probably still be break-dancing in the playground well into their forties having been held back yet again.
01:05: One of the schools bullies decides he doesn't much care for this young man's positive attitude to learn him, so decides to teach him a lesson of his own by knocking the 'nerd's' books out of his hand. The nerd see's the writing is on the wall for his attitude so decides that he will fit in with the tone of the school by breaking into spontaneous dance.
It's nice to see that peer-pressure still shapes people's lives. Also well done to the chap who put the nerd in his place, we can't have someone being cleverer than everyone else now can we that just wouldn't be fair on everyone who's too stupid or lazy.
01:30 - 01:40: More break-dancing outside and a few more shots of the two timing young man in the class pointing at the camara and singing a bit. All with a nice bit smug grin on his face.
01:45: Look's like school's out for the two timer as he's taking a quick midday snooze.
01:46: Our young friend wakes up to find that the class 'fittie' is the only person left in the room, and shocks him further by flouting the school's dress regulations even more so. His reaction is less than positive, as he is literally spitting with rage.
02:00: The girl is now writhing round on teacher's desk! Does she know no shame! It's a good thing the old chap isn't around as she could be in for detention.
02:12: We are now spun some home truths about true love and attractions from a chav (the earrings are a dead giveaway).
02:19: Even the teacher is getting down wid da beat now. His dancing isn't as energetic as the writhing 'fittie' or the break-dancers, but hey he's trying.
02:21: It looks like our friend has had a Freudian slip dream as instead of dreaming about the 'fittie' he is now having a wet-dream about his male teacher...
02:23: Our friend is awoken by the angry teacher, who isn't a fan of midday naps it would seem, and our friend is brought crashing back into his closeted reality whilst the object of his affections reprimands him for sleeping in class.
02:25: The 'fittie' is no longer impressed by our friend. Looks like his two timing ways have been his undoing, not to mention his leanings towards older men.
02:30 - 03:08: We now have a little epilogue where the consequence of our friend's in class indiscretions become clear. Firstly the 'fittie' dumps him before they were even going out and he is mocked by his peers.
The day has been a tough one for the students and a lot of issues have been forced in front of them like closet homosexuality, dress code infringement and bullying. As such they do the only thing they can do (and I mean that in general for this crowd) and that is break-dance. A lot!
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