I sit here on a Sunday evening watching the FA Cup draw, probably one of the highlights of my year (although the draws get more and more dull as the rounds go on); it's the way that the draw is taken oh-so-seriously and while it is nothing quite like the FIFA World Cup Qualifier draw (although the UEFA Champions League or indeed the World Cup itself is a remarkable process), which displays more bureaucracy and confusion than you would have ever thought possible, there is still something joyful about watching two former forgotten footballers and a C-List presenter joke about cups gone by and there is something sad yet gratifying about watching the process.

Clearly Bono has some murderous obsession with children and with the future, and how he would like to say "adios" to both on his new planet, Bonoth. Bonoth would be orbited by quite a large ego-sized moon, populated entirely by the Irish (perhaps with a country of Irish Americans) and filled with drab, unimaginative, three-chord (but heavily covered by all kind of distorted effects) "music".

But as ever I digress and we have the nasty business of the articles to present to you this week and firstly we bring you a review of that sensational (in the wrong way) new U2 song, Get on your boots - note we'll be doing a U2 special in the next few weeks, so do watch out!

I like her way of picking a fight though. Can you imagine going up to a big angry looking skinhead and saying "na na na na na I wanna start a fight?" The comedy value could be worth the pain. Maybe a night in the cells will put an end to Pink's silliness, she might be famous but that doesn't make her above the law.

Dave meanwhile has a look at that one-hit-wonder (well, one-hit) Pink and her song So What. So What? The world doesn't revolve around you, Pink.

I have always pictured Axl Rose as someone who would make an absolutely excellent motivational speaker.

A rare look at an old classic track (something that won't be so rare in the coming weeks and months, I promise) - and its Axl Rose eating a slice of humble pie. Ish.

The teacher is desperately teaching the young adults in his class to spell the school's name, but is met with a less than helpful attitude.

"And Finally", Dave looks at H Two O (really?) and a video which could be just like Harry Potter, except for all the sex.