The Guru Josh Project - Infinity
Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's THAT saxophone synthy MEGAsong. And, um, massive hit. Tom takes it in a new direction...
Here's my key
Philosophy
A freak like me
Just needs infinity
"Guru Josh" (what were his parents letting him in for?) has obviously been bullied at school - this can be the only reason that he would allow this, well, disease of a song on the world. He has hired a model for relatively good value for money (I'd say a few grand, tops), guaranteed himself success with an over-the-top video and lyricality which, whilst yes - yes, it is somewhat universal - betrays the very art of song craftsmanship. But sorry; this site isn't about opinion, it's about non-entertaining unbiased fact (ish), so I ought to get on with it really.
Guru Josh is talking about his key, which I presume he picked up from a local key cutting store. I presume that this is an independent key cutting store because the Guru starts talking about the philosophy surrounding key cutting (you have to read in-between the lines here but it's there, clear as day I assure you). What most of the listening audience won't realise is that is that Guru Josh grew up idolising and later working in his local branch of Timpsons, that was until he realised that Timpsons is just another cog in the manufactured wheel of corporate society.
Our boy Josh then moved on to open his own key cutting store, one free of razzmatazz where the aprons were unbranded and the employees honest. The prices weren't too bad either, obviously they couldn't undercut a monopoly like Timpsons, but they were doing alright for themselves. So alright however that one local independent branch became two, and before they knew it they had a regional duopoly. Josh was absolutely disheartened by this stomach-churning turn of events (and indeed why not?) and as such turned from keys to his one other true love - dance music with corny saxophone solo's.
Josh acknowledges his place in society and indeed the place of other "keyholders" (as they're known in the community, which has an annual UK conference in Milton Keynes and global conferences in a rota of countries) by saying that "freaks" like him and his kind need infinity; a world without keys would be a world without privacy, which perversely is freedom. The freedom and right to a private life.
Relax
Take your time
Josh is bringing phrases from his days as a key manufacturer into his new work. I am, to be honest with you, suitably impressed. His manner and demeanour towards customers was impressive and the sort of thing that a global bastion of corporate oppression such as Timpsons are looking for, should he ever fancy going back to his old career with a bang. Guru Josh is a perfect example of how a businessman should conduct himself.
And take your time
To trust in me
And you will find
Infinity, infinity
Josh continues to ask the subject of the song (he who he is addressing) to relax and take their time to place an astronomical amount of faith in him. He believes that he can show the subject the concept of "infinity" (what - life, the universe and everything?). Is Guru Josh expanding outside of his field of key making and into the worlds of astrophysics, philosophy and art combined? He is literally combining arts* and sciences** with this piece.
* - Although anyone who for one seconds describes this piece as being artistic deserves to be strung up and shot repeatedly but in places where it wouldn't necessarily kill them. Then and only then would an anonymous disposable henchman get to work on them with a spoon, before playing them Atlas by Battles*** at full volume in a small room for 7 days straight. Then they would be let loose into the crocodile pen at a zoo, just murmuring "people will be people when they hear this sound..." as they die a glorious and spectacular death in front of literally some witnesses.
** - Could you imagine what the people in all those clubs listening to this and saying to their chums (yes, chums) "mate, this is a banging tune" would really have the same sentiments if they knew it was about keymaking, the art thereof and also about science? Or if someone went up to some girl in a club who was loving this and said "aha I see you're enjoying this particular piece by Joshua the Guru - did you know he wrote this about the science of keymaking?"****
*** - I'm not even describing Atlas as art - well, it is - but imagine having to listen to any song for a week straight, and then imagine having to listen to one with the most catchy drumbeat, riff and refrain ever combined with smurf vocals. Killer.
Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity
Yes Infinity Josh, we get the idea. The concept of time and space and distance and everything blah blah blah...
The time goes by
So naturally
Why you'll receive
Infinity
And so Josh continues to talk about the concept of time, and he talks about how it seems to go by oh so naturally. Well Josh I am inclined to agree with you. At the time of you reading this it's 2009 (or even later than that) but at the time of writing it is still the past - i.e. 2008. And let me just say that how quickly has this year gone? Certainly in the key making industry time has flown by since the Birmingham conference in February, and Josh is clearly acknowledging this.
What I don't quite understand is how the time going by means that this subject is automatically destined to be granted the (rather prestigious item of) infinity. Perhaps he is talking about some kind of key cutting award, for the key cutter who cuts the greatest keys?
INternationally acclaimed For creatINg - In my eyes - The best keYs. Non?
**** - God, I hate this song. So, so much.
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